INDIA: Old Age Homes - Necessary Evil?

My Own Sad Story By Prabu Karthik CHENNAI (http://expertdabbler.com), December 29, 2007: I’ve been thinking a lot on this issue. And honestly i don’t have a clear answer. Time and again, i’ve been asked this question,”Eppo long term onsite porey?” by a lot of folks. The truth has always been that i am not too keen because i had absolutely no clear answer as where would my mother live if and when i travel abroad. Here i am living in this Singara Chennai for the past 5+ years with my mother. She is about 54 and hardly what one would call educated. The chances of my mom managing all alone in this monstrous city is as high as an innings victory over Australia in Australia. There is a school of thought which vehemently opposes old age homes. How dare a child banish his or her parents in old age homes? How selfish can somebody get? Is it not the responsibility of the child to take care of her parents at the time when they absolutely need him/her? All valid points without doubt. On the other hand, there is a growing breed of nuclear families and single child families. And in cases like mine, with no father around, it gets all the more sensitive and challenging. Does this mean i should say NO to all travel requirements just because i cannot leave my mother alone in this city? If NO, for how long can i stall travel? Travel is a necessary part of any IT professional. Having a B1 alone makes one more employable. One can request relatives and thankfully my uncle has been of great help in this regard so far. But honestly, that is more like english medicine, it works only for a shorter time frame. In general, and there are always exceptions, the longer one stays in a relative’s house, the messier it gets. Three years back, i would’ve blindly opposed the concept of old age homes. Nowadays i am much more circumspect. I guess this is were the communication between the children and parents becomes critical. I would tend to think just the very act of sending a parent to old age home per se is neither good nor bad, but the intentions might as well be the deciding factor. I can as well make my mother stay in my own place. But how secure is our city for old people staying all alone? Which is worse - leaving someone all alone or putting in an old age home where at least there are people around? Or switch professions completely and start some business? Again no clear answers but very important questions, atleast to me. http://expertdabbler.com/