MALAYSIA: The Age Of Sex - Some Myths And Facts

How misunderstandings can deprive an elderly the pleasures of sexual activity. AGE WELL By Prof Dr Low Wah Yun PENANG, Malaysia (The Star), December 30, 2007 ANGELA, 16 was horrified when she was told by her housewife mother, Celia, 47, and father, Greg, 58 to expect the arrival of a sibling in nine months time! The first thing that came to her mind was, “My parents still do it?” Now why wouldn’t they still do it? It has always been taboo to talk about sex among the elderly, and in general, most people would shy away from the topic. Such perceptions not only deprive the ageing of their rightful sphere of intimacy in society, it indirectly creates a self-fulfilling prophecy when young people who hold on to such myths succumb to such stifling environments in their later years. Ageism, especially in the context of sexual activity, has been a long-time issue in our society, and it is rarely highlighted. Cultural expectations play an important role in moulding the perspectives of society, and such expectations lead to myths that prevent the older generation from exploring their sexuality. Some of the myths that are still widely believed and prevailed are: Myth 1: Having an interest in sex is abnormal for the elderly Fact: The truth is, many older people enjoy sex and lead a healthy active sex life with their partners – even better than what they experienced in early adulthood. Sexual interest and behaviour do not necessarily wane as humans grow older. Couples can still enjoy sexual activities even in their 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. Myth 2: The elderly may hurt themselves if they have sex Fact: Sex is a form of exercise and it actually improves the health of the elderly. Besides easing back pain, sexual activities help boost self-confidence and instil self-esteem. Myth 3: Older people are sexually undesirable Fact: In a world where skinny and youthful looking models dominate billboards, advertisements and magazine covers, ageing does not seem like a popular topic to society in general. However, physical attraction is a subjective thing, and it is different for different people. And who is to say that sexual activity is only within the domain of those deemed physically attractive. Myth 4: It is shameful and perverse for the elderly to have sexual activities Fact: Many seniors find themselves feeling guilty when they have strong sexual desires. Such guilt and shame are felt because of cultural and religious factors. Besides that, the elderly who are widowed often shy away from relationships because their children would not be encouraging or would resent their newfound interest in another person. Myth 5: Menopause decreases sexual desire in women Fact: It is true women go through various changes before and after menopause, but this does not mark the end of sexual interest. The cessation of oestrogen results in several changes to the female body and this may create discomfort during intercourse. Nevertheless, a lot of alternatives, such as supplements and artificial lubricants, can be used to counter such problems. Although sexual response may be slower in comparison to their younger days, the ability to achieve orgasm is retained throughout life. Even hysterectomy, the removal of the internal female reproductive organ, does not affect sexual performance and pleasure. Myth 6: Impotence or erectile dysfunction in men is due to ageing Fact: The inability to achieve erection is not directly caused by ageing itself but may result from several medical conditions such as diabetes, hypertension, or neurological disorders that contribute to erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is treatable with medical alternatives such as the use of medication and surgery and changing lifestyle habits to a healthier one. One can go on and on about these sexual myths that prevail in society. The elderly often become victims of discrimination and stigmatisation and are often ignored by society with regards to their sexual desires. Society and kin prefer to believe that their elderly relatives are no longer interested in sexual activities. The constraints of such perceptions make the elderly even more stressed and lonely. We need to acknowledge that sexual desire is present in all stages of life so as to be able to provide a better living environment, not just for the elderly, but for all of us as we too will grow old. The elderly need encouragement and information so as to enable them to live life to its fullest. Copyright © 1995-2007 Star Publications (Malaysia) Bhd