.
CHENNAI, Tamil Nadu (ExpressBuzz), September 13, 2008:
Etcetera
By Lakshmy Venkiteswaran
It’s the crack of dawn, and Chennai is slowly waking up to another day. The Anna Nagar Tower is already bustling, with the fitness enthusiasts up and about. This early, most of them are senior citizens, in the sixties and seventies, out for the morning walk and catching up with friends. In many cases, the children no longer live with them. Some of them have gone abroad, while others are married and busy with their own lives.
How do they cope with an empty nest, then?
“I don’t have the time to ask such a question,” says Sarojini, an ex-college professor. “I’ve always been artistically inclined but family obligations didn’t allow it.” There were five children to educate and a husband to care for. So she put her ambitions on hold. One by one, they left home in the 90s, all to settle abroad. Then she retired. At a loose end, after a life filled with work, Sarojini began doing Tanjore painting. “Initially, it was a hobby. I made several pieces and gifted them to family on different occasions. Now, I’ve also started selling them.” She also finds time for glass paintings, pencil sketches and embroidery. “I love Carnatic music and attend concerts at least twice a week.” Though she and her husband are the only ones in their flat, there’s still plenty to do.
Anna Nagar Park viewed from tower. Photo: tamilnow.com
Ex-army major Venkatesan’s three children also live abroad. But the retiree, who is in his seventies, says retirement is the time to pursue your passions, which were hitherto impossible for many reasons. “I love cooking. My mother-in-law was my guru. After her death in 1992, the kitchen became my domain. I love cooking for Yashodha (his wife). It’s her constructive criticism and encouragement that has improved my skills.” He has 17 diplomas from various culinary universities across the world. He misses his children, but has learnt to live without them.
Their stories are similar to those of a number of elderly people whose children leave home permanently for greener pastures, often abroad. They’re neither poor nor helpless, but advancing years make living by themselves increasingly harder. Many of them have support systems in place, but for those without, there’s help at hand. For instance, there are caterers to provide for senior citizens with special needs.
Cooking became a chore for Lakshmi after she suffered a stroke four years ago. “My husband and I are used to homemade Brahmin food. But I couldn’t manage with my illness and since last year I’ve been ordering food from Thanjavur Mess.” It serves authentic Brahmin food and also caters to people with special needs. “Since my husband is diabetic, he has severe diet restrictions. The mess takes care of everything.”
Karthikeyan of the mess says his clients are predominantly Brahmins. “In other communities, children stay home and care for the elderly. But in our community, most of them often settle abroad or in another state. So old parents, unable to fend for themselves, become our clients.” Padma, another caterer, concurs. “Most of my clients are Brahmins. They live by themselves without anyone to care for them. But they never complain. They’re proud that the children are settled abroad and are doing well for themselves.”
There are other sources the elderly can turn to for help The Madras Mar Thoma Church, for instance, has a full range of services. “We have the professional forum that caters to senior citizens,” says Father Abraham Tharagan. “It has doctors, lawyers, counsellors, caterers and other service providers. Our elderly patrons from the community can avail of these services by contacting the secretary.” Forum doctors make regular house calls. Any distress call is answered in less than 24 hours. Father Tharagan also runs an old age home that is free of cost for people who have nobody to take care of them.
Other institutions like the Society of Vincent De Paul co-ordinate with various organisations to help the elderly. “Elderly patrons from our parish can contact me or the church for assistance,” says Thomas Charles, the society’s area council president. “We have various NGOs and associations to assist us in finding what our elderly patrons want.”
The care elderly people can get in a family environment contributes to their health and emotional well-being, but in a society that’s always rushing somewhere it doesn’t always happen. Nichula Chari’s experience at the Voluntary Health Service has left her speechless on many occasions. “I’ve had children who just dump their parents and never look back to see if they’re all right. Old people, though well off, find happiness only in one thing — children and grandchildren. Frequent phone calls and occasional visits can relieve them of emotional vacuum.” That’s the one thing no caterer can provide.
But Yashodha disagrees. “All our lives we struggle for our children’s happiness. When they finally find it why begrudge them? We should not bog them down with our insecurities.” But she agrees that financial independence is important for old people.
The Dignity Foundation also has programmes for the elderly. “We offer computer classes to help them communicate with their children, for instance,” says social worker Rosy Thomas. Picnics are organised for senior citizens who live by themselves. “Here, they meet people, make friends and form their own informal groups.”
The companionship service offered by Dignity is another way of reaching out. Says Rosy, “Members of the foundation volunteer for this service. They offer friendship and companionship to other elderly people who are lonely and depressed.” This free service is available for all senior citizens.
Courtesy: Dignity Foundation.
It also runs a counselling centre where trained counsellors provide free services to senior citizens. The foundation also has a Dignity Second Careers project. “We help them find jobs in their area of expertise. About 800 people have registered with us,” says Rosy. It also has a database of phone numbers for emergency purposes.
There’s also the Dean Foundation, which caters for the terminally ill and poorer sections. Deepa Muthiah says most of her patients in the palliative care unit are old people. “Longevity has not increased proportionally to the quality of life. Hence, more old people are falling ill. Other than our outpatient unit, we also visit people’s homes and provide our services in the comfort of their homes.”
She says the middle-class are more bitter about their children. “They’re aware that their kids genuinely do not find time to call or visit. But expectations are high and parents are disappointed when they don’t hear from them. Loneliness leads to depression, dementia, mood disorders, etc. But the poor are more stoic. Despite the loneliness, they accept their fate because they see their kids struggling financially.”
Ageing gracefully is a difficult art, and ageing gracefully all by yourself even more so, but financial independence, and a little help from their friends and neighbourhood systems, makes it possible for many elders even though the family may be far away.
The ‘classic’ life
It’s the pensioner’s dream come true, if you can afford it, of course. Clasic Kudumbam could be called the Rolls Royce of old homes in Chennai, an apartment-style retirement community (one-of-a-kind in the city). Owner Rajesh Shankar says, “Old people often find it difficult to manage a home by themselves. So we provide all the comforts of a home for a fee.” Every apartment has an air-conditioner, microwave oven, fridge, TV and telephone. There’s hot water on tap and all the woodwork and furniture are pre-installed.
Common services include washing machines, a strongroom with bank-style lockers, a browsing centre, library, outpatient clinic and 24 X 7 front desk services.
Retired income tax officer Shankaran, 83, stayed at Clasic last year before he went to live with his son in America. “Folks at Clasic are my friends now. We constantly stay in touch and meet whenever we can.”
Law protects senior citizens
The Indian government has enacted a law for the maintenance and welfare of Senior Citizens. Children and relatives are legally obliged to care for the older people in the family. They have to be paid a monthly allowance to the maximum of Rs 10,000. This applies to all Indian citizens, including those living abroad. Punishment for not paying the required monthly allowance is Rs 5,000 or up to three months imprisonment, or both.
Any senior citizen who is unable to maintain himself on his own earnings or property can file a petition to the Maintenance Tribunal requesting for a monthly allowance from his child/relative. Also, based on complaints, the maintenance tribunal can also initiate the process for maintenance. It is required to dispose of complaints within 90 days.
Facts and figures
Tamil Nadu ranks second in the highest proportion of elderly, with 10 per cent, next to Kerala, which has 11 per cent. It is third when it comes to the absolute number of elderly people, nearly 6 million, after Uttar Pradesh with 12 million and Maharashtra with nearly 8.6 million.
Among the metros, Chennai ranks second with eight per cent (the highest proportion of elderly), next only to Kolkata at 10 per cent. Of the four lakh seniors living alone in Tamil Nadu, three lakh are women, the country’s highest.
India’s grey population (senior citizens above 60 years) will ratchet up to 177 million in 25 years. Women will make up 51 per cent of this number, thanks to a spurt in life expectancy.
According to the National Crime Bureau, Delhi has the maximum crimes committed against the elderly. It has already witnessed 18 murders of elderly couples this year.
lakshmy@epmltd.com
Copyright © 2008 Express Buzz
Photos added by Seniors World Chronicle
Etcetera
By Lakshmy Venkiteswaran
It’s the crack of dawn, and Chennai is slowly waking up to another day. The Anna Nagar Tower is already bustling, with the fitness enthusiasts up and about. This early, most of them are senior citizens, in the sixties and seventies, out for the morning walk and catching up with friends. In many cases, the children no longer live with them. Some of them have gone abroad, while others are married and busy with their own lives.
How do they cope with an empty nest, then?
“I don’t have the time to ask such a question,” says Sarojini, an ex-college professor. “I’ve always been artistically inclined but family obligations didn’t allow it.” There were five children to educate and a husband to care for. So she put her ambitions on hold. One by one, they left home in the 90s, all to settle abroad. Then she retired. At a loose end, after a life filled with work, Sarojini began doing Tanjore painting. “Initially, it was a hobby. I made several pieces and gifted them to family on different occasions. Now, I’ve also started selling them.” She also finds time for glass paintings, pencil sketches and embroidery. “I love Carnatic music and attend concerts at least twice a week.” Though she and her husband are the only ones in their flat, there’s still plenty to do.
Anna Nagar Park viewed from tower. Photo: tamilnow.com
Ex-army major Venkatesan’s three children also live abroad. But the retiree, who is in his seventies, says retirement is the time to pursue your passions, which were hitherto impossible for many reasons. “I love cooking. My mother-in-law was my guru. After her death in 1992, the kitchen became my domain. I love cooking for Yashodha (his wife). It’s her constructive criticism and encouragement that has improved my skills.” He has 17 diplomas from various culinary universities across the world. He misses his children, but has learnt to live without them.
Their stories are similar to those of a number of elderly people whose children leave home permanently for greener pastures, often abroad. They’re neither poor nor helpless, but advancing years make living by themselves increasingly harder. Many of them have support systems in place, but for those without, there’s help at hand. For instance, there are caterers to provide for senior citizens with special needs.
Cooking became a chore for Lakshmi after she suffered a stroke four years ago. “My husband and I are used to homemade Brahmin food. But I couldn’t manage with my illness and since last year I’ve been ordering food from Thanjavur Mess.” It serves authentic Brahmin food and also caters to people with special needs. “Since my husband is diabetic, he has severe diet restrictions. The mess takes care of everything.”
Karthikeyan of the mess says his clients are predominantly Brahmins. “In other communities, children stay home and care for the elderly. But in our community, most of them often settle abroad or in another state. So old parents, unable to fend for themselves, become our clients.” Padma, another caterer, concurs. “Most of my clients are Brahmins. They live by themselves without anyone to care for them. But they never complain. They’re proud that the children are settled abroad and are doing well for themselves.”
There are other sources the elderly can turn to for help The Madras Mar Thoma Church, for instance, has a full range of services. “We have the professional forum that caters to senior citizens,” says Father Abraham Tharagan. “It has doctors, lawyers, counsellors, caterers and other service providers. Our elderly patrons from the community can avail of these services by contacting the secretary.” Forum doctors make regular house calls. Any distress call is answered in less than 24 hours. Father Tharagan also runs an old age home that is free of cost for people who have nobody to take care of them.
Other institutions like the Society of Vincent De Paul co-ordinate with various organisations to help the elderly. “Elderly patrons from our parish can contact me or the church for assistance,” says Thomas Charles, the society’s area council president. “We have various NGOs and associations to assist us in finding what our elderly patrons want.”
The care elderly people can get in a family environment contributes to their health and emotional well-being, but in a society that’s always rushing somewhere it doesn’t always happen. Nichula Chari’s experience at the Voluntary Health Service has left her speechless on many occasions. “I’ve had children who just dump their parents and never look back to see if they’re all right. Old people, though well off, find happiness only in one thing — children and grandchildren. Frequent phone calls and occasional visits can relieve them of emotional vacuum.” That’s the one thing no caterer can provide.
But Yashodha disagrees. “All our lives we struggle for our children’s happiness. When they finally find it why begrudge them? We should not bog them down with our insecurities.” But she agrees that financial independence is important for old people.
The Dignity Foundation also has programmes for the elderly. “We offer computer classes to help them communicate with their children, for instance,” says social worker Rosy Thomas. Picnics are organised for senior citizens who live by themselves. “Here, they meet people, make friends and form their own informal groups.”
The companionship service offered by Dignity is another way of reaching out. Says Rosy, “Members of the foundation volunteer for this service. They offer friendship and companionship to other elderly people who are lonely and depressed.” This free service is available for all senior citizens.
Courtesy: Dignity Foundation.
It also runs a counselling centre where trained counsellors provide free services to senior citizens. The foundation also has a Dignity Second Careers project. “We help them find jobs in their area of expertise. About 800 people have registered with us,” says Rosy. It also has a database of phone numbers for emergency purposes.
There’s also the Dean Foundation, which caters for the terminally ill and poorer sections. Deepa Muthiah says most of her patients in the palliative care unit are old people. “Longevity has not increased proportionally to the quality of life. Hence, more old people are falling ill. Other than our outpatient unit, we also visit people’s homes and provide our services in the comfort of their homes.”
She says the middle-class are more bitter about their children. “They’re aware that their kids genuinely do not find time to call or visit. But expectations are high and parents are disappointed when they don’t hear from them. Loneliness leads to depression, dementia, mood disorders, etc. But the poor are more stoic. Despite the loneliness, they accept their fate because they see their kids struggling financially.”
Ageing gracefully is a difficult art, and ageing gracefully all by yourself even more so, but financial independence, and a little help from their friends and neighbourhood systems, makes it possible for many elders even though the family may be far away.
The ‘classic’ life
It’s the pensioner’s dream come true, if you can afford it, of course. Clasic Kudumbam could be called the Rolls Royce of old homes in Chennai, an apartment-style retirement community (one-of-a-kind in the city). Owner Rajesh Shankar says, “Old people often find it difficult to manage a home by themselves. So we provide all the comforts of a home for a fee.” Every apartment has an air-conditioner, microwave oven, fridge, TV and telephone. There’s hot water on tap and all the woodwork and furniture are pre-installed.
Common services include washing machines, a strongroom with bank-style lockers, a browsing centre, library, outpatient clinic and 24 X 7 front desk services.
Retired income tax officer Shankaran, 83, stayed at Clasic last year before he went to live with his son in America. “Folks at Clasic are my friends now. We constantly stay in touch and meet whenever we can.”
Law protects senior citizens
The Indian government has enacted a law for the maintenance and welfare of Senior Citizens. Children and relatives are legally obliged to care for the older people in the family. They have to be paid a monthly allowance to the maximum of Rs 10,000. This applies to all Indian citizens, including those living abroad. Punishment for not paying the required monthly allowance is Rs 5,000 or up to three months imprisonment, or both.
Any senior citizen who is unable to maintain himself on his own earnings or property can file a petition to the Maintenance Tribunal requesting for a monthly allowance from his child/relative. Also, based on complaints, the maintenance tribunal can also initiate the process for maintenance. It is required to dispose of complaints within 90 days.
Facts and figures
Tamil Nadu ranks second in the highest proportion of elderly, with 10 per cent, next to Kerala, which has 11 per cent. It is third when it comes to the absolute number of elderly people, nearly 6 million, after Uttar Pradesh with 12 million and Maharashtra with nearly 8.6 million.
Among the metros, Chennai ranks second with eight per cent (the highest proportion of elderly), next only to Kolkata at 10 per cent. Of the four lakh seniors living alone in Tamil Nadu, three lakh are women, the country’s highest.
India’s grey population (senior citizens above 60 years) will ratchet up to 177 million in 25 years. Women will make up 51 per cent of this number, thanks to a spurt in life expectancy.
According to the National Crime Bureau, Delhi has the maximum crimes committed against the elderly. It has already witnessed 18 murders of elderly couples this year.
lakshmy@epmltd.com
Copyright © 2008 Express Buzz
Photos added by Seniors World Chronicle
