LEBANON: Refusing to Grow Old at Home, One Day At A Time

BEIRUT (Daily Star), April 5, 2004: Mira al-Gothaime, better known as Hajji Um-Wafiq, 83, opens her store every day of the week, not to sell her meager store supplies - which consist of six cartons of cigarettes and a couple of boxes of chocolate candy - but to enjoy the company of people. Um-Wafiq, old, composed and easily found every day of the week sitting in front of her store on the Salam Salim highway, said she was not in need of money, as her three children - one of whom resides in the US and the other two who live just across the street - provide her with everything she needs. Um-Wafiq said the store she purchased with her late husband 32 years ago is simply the last space she controls that provides her with life. She has insisted on keeping it open, against the wishes of her children. "On his last trip to Lebanon, my eldest son, Wafiq, tried to convince me to sell the store and purchase an apartment with the money. He said at my age it was not proper for me to sit in a store, but I told him I prefer that than being locked in an apartment. I also told him I would remain in the store until I pass away." Um-Wafiq is on good terms with everyone on the street. "They all come to visit me here. Look at that old man sitting there, he is waiting for me to beckon him to come over. In an apartment I would only have walls to stare at," she said. In addition to Um-Wafiq's views on her need for commercial space, she surprisingly said she has no plans for saving money. "I have performed the Hajj and I have visited the shrines of the Imams in Iraq and Iran, so why would an old woman like me want to horde money?" she asked. She also said that if she had money in the house she would worry about someone robbing her. But her biggest concern was, "what would my children say if they found I had money after I died? They will surely ask, why did our mother not give us the money on such and such an occasion when we needed it? That's why I don't want to horde money," she said. Although Um-Wafiq's health is fine, and her mind is alert, she said she has become bored with her life. But still, she explained, "God is my confidante and all I ask him for is to live the rest of my days in dignity." By Mohamed Ajami Daily Star staff Copyright © 2004, The Daily Star.