UK: Blackberrying, cleaning and cycling – old age is a thrill a minute

. LONDON, England / The Guardian / Life & Style / August 21, 2009 A Certain Age By Michael Hanson Last week Rosemary told her doctor she had been blackberry-picking. "I hope you wore sensible shoes and socks," said the dreary old doctor. Now that Rosemary's getting on, blackberrying is an extreme sport. One tiny jab from a bramble thorn could rip open the scar covering her dormant bone infection and cause a gaping wound and bloodbath. But does she take her increasing weediness seriously? No. Next day she put a wobbly stool in the bath, and climbed up on it to close a high window that the window cleaner had left open. Once up there she discovered nine years of flocculent filth, which she absolutely had to clean, so she climbed back up with a dustpan and brush, no free hands to hold on, then climbed up and down, cleaning it with soapy water, wondering, if she fell and died, what would happen to the elderly, deaf chum she was meant to be picking up from Marylebone station at lunchtime. Still she carried on with her mad cleaning, because it's galling to admit that one can no longer do things. Fielding goes zooming off on his bike, then he comes to the mildest of inclines and has to get off and push. "I pedal like a midwife in a village," says he glumly, remembering the way he used to charge about in top gear, or do 1,000 keepy-uppies. Now he can only do three. Last week I fell over a hidden tussock on the heath, then the dogs spotted a passing pussy cat and lunged, ripping a few of my arm tendons to shreds. I have been in constant pain since Sunday. "Serves you right," says Rosemary. "You've trained those dogs to chase cats and squirrels. They need CBT: forced to sit and look at Stanley [her ginger cat] until they stop this nonsense. Have you got peas?" What? Frozen peas. Yes, I have. We all have. Ready in the freezer for the next injury. Because there will be one. We are such risk-takers. It makes old age a thrill a minute. Something for you all to look forward to. [rc] © Guardian News and Media Limited 2009