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MUMBAI, India / Seniors World Chronicle / India File / Life / June 22, 2009
They’ve come a long way:
Even in their 80s, they’re seeking more out of life
By Ravi Chawla
Senior citizens have been repeatedly in headlines in recent months. Most reports focus only on cases of elder abuse, scams against senior citizens, crime against the aged. Nothing positive is highlighted about the brighter side of lives of elderly in India.
Here is a touching tale of Mohini and Narsi, an actively aging couple from the middle class northwest Mumbai suburb of Andheri’s Four Bungalows. Mohini, 80, is excited about getting a new knee in coming days. Narsi, 82, is seeking out to those who need care.
IN NOVEMBER 2006, weeks after a fall working in the kitchen, Mohini had a total hip replacement. However, since 1985, osteoarthritis has been increasingly bothering her. First week July 2009, surgery has been slated for a completely new knee for Mohini. She plans to be back on her feet by July 11. Her children and grandchildren have lined up a big bash for her 80th birthday that day.
Mohini’s 82-year-old husband of over 55 years, lean and lanky Narsi is equally excited. His wife’s medical dossier is ready. They’ve been through pre-operative diagnostics, met the surgeon, visited the hospital and decided she would check into an air conditioned room for convalescence. Narsi has consulted his medical insurance company execs about pre-authorisation of hospital bills. Arrangements have been made for someone to handle his 4-hours-a-day work while he is absent for a week.
Nothing has been left to chance. He cares. He cares for Mohini. And that is obvious. She mustn’t suffer, he whispers. She deserves more, I know. We live on a budget. We make the best of what we have.
*****
IT’S TEA TIME. Narsi excuses himself. He is gone for a couple of minutes. Mohini says softly: We’ve never really felt deprived. We just have to be careful with our money. He gets a puny amount as pension, tiny bits as bank interest on our deposits, and a gracious sum every month for the four hours of work he puts in every morning at a garment factory owned by two of our sons. They are caring kids and keep telling Narsi he doesn’t have to work at this age. We believe in aging with dignity. It’s been wonderful to live this way.
Narsi brings in a platter. Home-made chicken pies, home-baked walnut cake. Made by Mohini.
She’s doing this all the time, Narsi comments. For our children, grandchildren. I buy the batter for the pies from mid-town City Bakery at Worli Naka, fresh chicken and most supplies from the food store at suburban Goregaon, near our garment factory. An auto rickshaw brings me to work in the morning, later returns to pick me, bring me home. I stop for shopping where it’s “cheapest and best.” Only the best ingredients. Mohini loves to cook. Arthritis pain means she can’t go shopping.
Mohini is thrilled when tarts and cakes turn out well. Or when our guests relish the moghlai mutton masala or baked fish she’s made from the recipes on her favourite Pak TV cookery programme. She turns out delicacies that the bachas (kids) come clamouring for. Mohini’s dahi wadas are talk of the town. Family folks call up urging she prepares their favourite
dahi wadas, chocolate mousse, curried prawns or pineapple tarts. Mohini never says no. She is indeed very caring. Narsi runs errands any time. That way, he says, he is sharing Mohini’s everyday tasks, demonstrating a meaningful, everyday companionship.
Here is a simple couple. Two good souls who care for each other, who spread cheer and are generous even with people they’ve just met. They never make public declaration of it. Today, after 55 years of marital commitment, even a casual acquaintance can not remain untouched by the deep, old-world love Narsi and Mohini have for each other and warmth for, a word of solace and whatever more they can do for the deprived.
*****
Small beginnings, vast horizons
MOHINI AND NARSI have come a long way from earthy roots back in Hyderabad, the first capital of the Sind province of British India (Later shifted to Karachi). India’s current population is 1.18 billion. Sindhi Hindus worldwide number less than 1 million. Of these Sindhi Hindus, a tiny number only about 35,000 are Sindhi Hindu Hyderabadi Amils. They are scattered all over India, and in some 70 countries throughout the world, as far away as the Bahamas, Barcelona, and Budapest.
In Sindh, Hyderabadi Amils were the cultured and educated class. Most had government positions, in administration, in education. Hyderabadi Amils always had small pieces of farm lands (baanyu), and simple houses for family living.
Both Mohini and Narsi were born in Hyderabad, Mohini in the Mirchandani family, Narsi in the Jhangiani family. Like most Amils in Hyderabad both these families had baanyu, and simple houses of their own.
Longevity the norm in the two families
Narsi’s father was a general medical practitioner who married twice and was father to three sons, eight daughters. He died in Hyderabad. Narsi is second of three brothers. Before partition of British India, in March 1947, Narsi’s mother and children moved to Delhi. Since then, Narsi’s mother, one brother and two sisters have passed away.
Today, two of Narsi’s sisters Leela, 90, and Padma, 74, live in Kolkata. Narsi, 82, like three of his sisters Chandri, 85, Ganga, 80, and Lalita, 70, live in Mumbai. His sister Kamla, 76, lives in Delhi. Brother Indru, 78, is based in Hong Kong.
In Hyderabad, Mohini’s father was a government accountant. When conditions became unbearable after India’s Partition in August 1947 into two countries, India and Pakistan, they crossed the border to over to India. Mohini's father, Mr. Mirchandani, was based in Khandwa, Madhya Pradesh for five years as an auditor in education department for the Delhi government. Later the family moved for a while to Bhavnagar, and on to Rajkot in Gujarat.
Mohini, 80, is eldest of five children. Brother Mohan, 78, and sister Nanki, 76, live in Mumbai. Sister Indira, 74, is based in Washington DC, USA. The youngest is brother Jaikishin, popularly known as Jacky, 67, settled since several years in Budapest, Hungary.
Mohini and Narsi remain close to the extended family and age has only helped to mature these relationships. Narsi is always there if help is needed. Often people ask him why he goes out of the way to attend to petty problems of others. He smiles and declares: I love doing it. It is tiring at times, he admits, but as long as I can, I will do it.
Lived at one end of India and then at the other
Narsi and Mohini: October 1956.
Courtesy: Jhangiani family
During the 1950s, most daughters of Sindhi homes were married off by age 21 or 22. Mohini’s parents worried she was 26 and they had not found a match. Then, by chance, in the backstreets of Bhavnagar in Gujarat, one fine morning Mohini’s brother Mohan met a friend from Mumbai. This friend knew someone in Mumbai who had an eligible brother. That eligible young man was Narsi Jhangiani, 28, working in Kolkata. The Mumbai-based Hyderabadi Amil community guru, Bhai Bhagwandas, gave his blessings and both families agreed Mohini and Narsi would make a good match. Narsi was beckoned from across the country. Without having ever met each other, three days after Narsi arrived in Mumbai, on November 2, 1955, the two were married!
THE BIG DAY: Narsi and Mohini pose for a souvenir photograph on 2nd November 1955, soon after their Wedding Ceremony. The tallest man on the left and the lady in white sari on the right are Mohini's parents. The bride and bridegroom had met each other for the first time ever a couple of days before the wedding in Bombay, now known as Mumbai.
Mohini and Narsi, born in Hyderabad, Sindh in western India, had moved after Partition to central and western India. They were now off to begin a new life in Eastern India. Narsi worked for paint company in Kolkata, 1952 to 1961. “We supplied and applied paint on ships in Kolkata harbor,” he quips. He then joined Shalimar Paints in 1962 and in 1967 he was elevatedas sales manager, and moved to Guwahati, capital of the troubled state of Assam in Northeastern India. He proved he could handle it all. He retired in November 1983 and shifted to Mumbai. Two years later, he returned to northeast India, to Shillong, Meghalaya, as manager of Goenka’s hotel and cinema. By July 1990 the Jhangianis’ four children had grown up. They moved back to Mumbai.
Real Life National Integration
THE BIG DAY: Sisters and cousins of the bridegroom pose with the bridal couple after the Hindu wedding ceremony in Bombay, now known as Mumbai.
First-born Anita made headlines as Guwahati university topper, graduating in English. She chose Mass Communications to continue studies in Mumbai’s elite Sophia College and joined the top advertising agency Lintas. By 1980 she was seeing Ashit Parekh then beginning life as architect. Soon they planned he would head for the US. She would join him once the roots had grown. Anita Jhangiani, born in a Sindhi family that had come to live in Rajkot, western India, had met Ashit Parekh, from a Gujarati-speaking vegetarian Jain family of Mumbai, and in 1984, they were married in Rockville, Maryland, USA. Anita’s parents Narsi and Mohini Jhangiani went for extended visits to the USA when their daughters Natasha (1991) and Meghan (1995) were born. Anita and her family now live in Pune, three hours drive from Mumbai.
Sanjay (pet name Bholu) was born in Kolkata in 1959. After graduation in Commerce, he went looking for a job in Mumbai. Soon he was courting a Sikh girl Sonu Sahni from Cuffe Parade. They knew each other for two years before he left for the USA in 1987. He returned in 1988 to get married. Bholu and Sonu now live in Montgomery, Maryland, USA. Narsi and Mohini Jhangiani were there for the births of Sanjay and Sonu’s son Sahil (b. 1992) and daughter Shanna (b. 1996). These children are schooling in America.
Ajay (pet name Gulu), was born in Kolkata in 1961. He went to Mumbai and graduated in Commerce from National College. As a bachelor he lived in Santa Cruz, northwest Mumbai where he met pretty Priti Dalal from a neighbourhood
Vaishnav Baniya Gujarati family. Ajay and Priti married in 1985. Their daughter (b. 1987) Isha, has a Master’s in Spanish and lives in Barcelona, Spain. Rahul (b. 1991) finished high school this year. Ajay and Priti live in Versova, Mumbai, only a kilometer away from his parents’ home.
Vijay (Chikoo), born in Kolkata in 1962, also graduated in Commerce from National College, Mumbai. He too lived in Santa Cruz, northwest Mumbai, where he dated Francis Gilhooly, the Roman Catholic child of Anglo-Indian parents from Goa. Vijay and Francis Jhangiani have a home in Versova, Mumbai, close to Ajay and Priti’s home. Karan, son of Vijay and Francis was born in 1994. [
rc]
The author of this INDIA FILE report, Ravi Chawla, is Editor of SENIORS WORLD CHRONICLE
© 2009 Ravi Chawla
Here is a touching tale of Mohini and Narsi, an actively aging couple from the middle class northwest Mumbai suburb of Andheri’s Four Bungalows. Mohini, 80, is excited about getting a new knee in coming days. Narsi, 82, is seeking out to those who need care.
IN NOVEMBER 2006, weeks after a fall working in the kitchen, Mohini had a total hip replacement. However, since 1985, osteoarthritis has been increasingly bothering her. First week July 2009, surgery has been slated for a completely new knee for Mohini. She plans to be back on her feet by July 11. Her children and grandchildren have lined up a big bash for her 80th birthday that day.
Mohini’s 82-year-old husband of over 55 years, lean and lanky Narsi is equally excited. His wife’s medical dossier is ready. They’ve been through pre-operative diagnostics, met the surgeon, visited the hospital and decided she would check into an air conditioned room for convalescence. Narsi has consulted his medical insurance company execs about pre-authorisation of hospital bills. Arrangements have been made for someone to handle his 4-hours-a-day work while he is absent for a week.
Nothing has been left to chance. He cares. He cares for Mohini. And that is obvious. She mustn’t suffer, he whispers. She deserves more, I know. We live on a budget. We make the best of what we have.
*****
IT’S TEA TIME. Narsi excuses himself. He is gone for a couple of minutes. Mohini says softly: We’ve never really felt deprived. We just have to be careful with our money. He gets a puny amount as pension, tiny bits as bank interest on our deposits, and a gracious sum every month for the four hours of work he puts in every morning at a garment factory owned by two of our sons. They are caring kids and keep telling Narsi he doesn’t have to work at this age. We believe in aging with dignity. It’s been wonderful to live this way.
Narsi brings in a platter. Home-made chicken pies, home-baked walnut cake. Made by Mohini.
She’s doing this all the time, Narsi comments. For our children, grandchildren. I buy the batter for the pies from mid-town City Bakery at Worli Naka, fresh chicken and most supplies from the food store at suburban Goregaon, near our garment factory. An auto rickshaw brings me to work in the morning, later returns to pick me, bring me home. I stop for shopping where it’s “cheapest and best.” Only the best ingredients. Mohini loves to cook. Arthritis pain means she can’t go shopping.
Mohini is thrilled when tarts and cakes turn out well. Or when our guests relish the moghlai mutton masala or baked fish she’s made from the recipes on her favourite Pak TV cookery programme. She turns out delicacies that the bachas (kids) come clamouring for. Mohini’s dahi wadas are talk of the town. Family folks call up urging she prepares their favourite dahi wadas, chocolate mousse, curried prawns or pineapple tarts. Mohini never says no. She is indeed very caring. Narsi runs errands any time. That way, he says, he is sharing Mohini’s everyday tasks, demonstrating a meaningful, everyday companionship.
Here is a simple couple. Two good souls who care for each other, who spread cheer and are generous even with people they’ve just met. They never make public declaration of it. Today, after 55 years of marital commitment, even a casual acquaintance can not remain untouched by the deep, old-world love Narsi and Mohini have for each other and warmth for, a word of solace and whatever more they can do for the deprived.
*****
Small beginnings, vast horizons
MOHINI AND NARSI have come a long way from earthy roots back in Hyderabad, the first capital of the Sind province of British India (Later shifted to Karachi). India’s current population is 1.18 billion. Sindhi Hindus worldwide number less than 1 million. Of these Sindhi Hindus, a tiny number only about 35,000 are Sindhi Hindu Hyderabadi Amils. They are scattered all over India, and in some 70 countries throughout the world, as far away as the Bahamas, Barcelona, and Budapest.
In Sindh, Hyderabadi Amils were the cultured and educated class. Most had government positions, in administration, in education. Hyderabadi Amils always had small pieces of farm lands (baanyu), and simple houses for family living.
Both Mohini and Narsi were born in Hyderabad, Mohini in the Mirchandani family, Narsi in the Jhangiani family. Like most Amils in Hyderabad both these families had baanyu, and simple houses of their own.
Longevity the norm in the two families
Narsi’s father was a general medical practitioner who married twice and was father to three sons, eight daughters. He died in Hyderabad. Narsi is second of three brothers. Before partition of British India, in March 1947, Narsi’s mother and children moved to Delhi. Since then, Narsi’s mother, one brother and two sisters have passed away.
Today, two of Narsi’s sisters Leela, 90, and Padma, 74, live in Kolkata. Narsi, 82, like three of his sisters Chandri, 85, Ganga, 80, and Lalita, 70, live in Mumbai. His sister Kamla, 76, lives in Delhi. Brother Indru, 78, is based in Hong Kong.
In Hyderabad, Mohini’s father was a government accountant. When conditions became unbearable after India’s Partition in August 1947 into two countries, India and Pakistan, they crossed the border to over to India. Mohini's father, Mr. Mirchandani, was based in Khandwa, Madhya Pradesh for five years as an auditor in education department for the Delhi government. Later the family moved for a while to Bhavnagar, and on to Rajkot in Gujarat.
Mohini, 80, is eldest of five children. Brother Mohan, 78, and sister Nanki, 76, live in Mumbai. Sister Indira, 74, is based in Washington DC, USA. The youngest is brother Jaikishin, popularly known as Jacky, 67, settled since several years in Budapest, Hungary.
Mohini and Narsi remain close to the extended family and age has only helped to mature these relationships. Narsi is always there if help is needed. Often people ask him why he goes out of the way to attend to petty problems of others. He smiles and declares: I love doing it. It is tiring at times, he admits, but as long as I can, I will do it.
Lived at one end of India and then at the other
Narsi and Mohini: October 1956.
Courtesy: Jhangiani family
During the 1950s, most daughters of Sindhi homes were married off by age 21 or 22. Mohini’s parents worried she was 26 and they had not found a match. Then, by chance, in the backstreets of Bhavnagar in Gujarat, one fine morning Mohini’s brother Mohan met a friend from Mumbai. This friend knew someone in Mumbai who had an eligible brother. That eligible young man was Narsi Jhangiani, 28, working in Kolkata. The Mumbai-based Hyderabadi Amil community guru, Bhai Bhagwandas, gave his blessings and both families agreed Mohini and Narsi would make a good match. Narsi was beckoned from across the country. Without having ever met each other, three days after Narsi arrived in Mumbai, on November 2, 1955, the two were married!
THE BIG DAY: Narsi and Mohini pose for a souvenir photograph on 2nd November 1955, soon after their Wedding Ceremony. The tallest man on the left and the lady in white sari on the right are Mohini's parents. The bride and bridegroom had met each other for the first time ever a couple of days before the wedding in Bombay, now known as Mumbai.
Mohini and Narsi, born in Hyderabad, Sindh in western India, had moved after Partition to central and western India. They were now off to begin a new life in Eastern India. Narsi worked for paint company in Kolkata, 1952 to 1961. “We supplied and applied paint on ships in Kolkata harbor,” he quips. He then joined Shalimar Paints in 1962 and in 1967 he was elevatedas sales manager, and moved to Guwahati, capital of the troubled state of Assam in Northeastern India. He proved he could handle it all. He retired in November 1983 and shifted to Mumbai. Two years later, he returned to northeast India, to Shillong, Meghalaya, as manager of Goenka’s hotel and cinema. By July 1990 the Jhangianis’ four children had grown up. They moved back to Mumbai.
Real Life National Integration
THE BIG DAY: Sisters and cousins of the bridegroom pose with the bridal couple after the Hindu wedding ceremony in Bombay, now known as Mumbai.
First-born Anita made headlines as Guwahati university topper, graduating in English. She chose Mass Communications to continue studies in Mumbai’s elite Sophia College and joined the top advertising agency Lintas. By 1980 she was seeing Ashit Parekh then beginning life as architect. Soon they planned he would head for the US. She would join him once the roots had grown. Anita Jhangiani, born in a Sindhi family that had come to live in Rajkot, western India, had met Ashit Parekh, from a Gujarati-speaking vegetarian Jain family of Mumbai, and in 1984, they were married in Rockville, Maryland, USA. Anita’s parents Narsi and Mohini Jhangiani went for extended visits to the USA when their daughters Natasha (1991) and Meghan (1995) were born. Anita and her family now live in Pune, three hours drive from Mumbai.
Sanjay (pet name Bholu) was born in Kolkata in 1959. After graduation in Commerce, he went looking for a job in Mumbai. Soon he was courting a Sikh girl Sonu Sahni from Cuffe Parade. They knew each other for two years before he left for the USA in 1987. He returned in 1988 to get married. Bholu and Sonu now live in Montgomery, Maryland, USA. Narsi and Mohini Jhangiani were there for the births of Sanjay and Sonu’s son Sahil (b. 1992) and daughter Shanna (b. 1996). These children are schooling in America.
Ajay (pet name Gulu), was born in Kolkata in 1961. He went to Mumbai and graduated in Commerce from National College. As a bachelor he lived in Santa Cruz, northwest Mumbai where he met pretty Priti Dalal from a neighbourhood Vaishnav Baniya Gujarati family. Ajay and Priti married in 1985. Their daughter (b. 1987) Isha, has a Master’s in Spanish and lives in Barcelona, Spain. Rahul (b. 1991) finished high school this year. Ajay and Priti live in Versova, Mumbai, only a kilometer away from his parents’ home.
Vijay (Chikoo), born in Kolkata in 1962, also graduated in Commerce from National College, Mumbai. He too lived in Santa Cruz, northwest Mumbai, where he dated Francis Gilhooly, the Roman Catholic child of Anglo-Indian parents from Goa. Vijay and Francis Jhangiani have a home in Versova, Mumbai, close to Ajay and Priti’s home. Karan, son of Vijay and Francis was born in 1994. [rc]
The author of this INDIA FILE report, Ravi Chawla, is Editor of SENIORS WORLD CHRONICLE
© 2009 Ravi Chawla
