BARBADOS: I Confess, Husband stealers on the loose

. BRIDGETOWN, Barbados / The Nation / Life / Editorial Story / January 24, 2009 IT IS OFTEN said that common sense beats education and this is so true! My very close friend has me so disappointed by her actions over the years. She may be a university graduate, but she is void of understanding when it comes to the opposite sex and life in general, and this has resulted in her life just rapidly going downhill during the last five years. K., as I will call her, was engaged to be married. Plans were in motion when the manleft and married another woman. This was mistake number one. K. finally got married to a Guyanese national who also ran off and left her. Since then she has been having on and off relationships, the most two recent ones were with members of the security forces; the first was single, and the second is married with children. She supported the latter friend financially for nearly four years, showering him with expensive gifts. I told K. that money cannot buy love, and most of all, a relationship with a married man is a dead end. I said to her that he would only use her and then go back to his family as always happens. She often complained of his leaving and going home after having sex, no matter what time it was. She never took my advice, saying she knew what she was doing. She would call him and leave messages "I miss you and I love you" when he did not answer his cellphone. While she was supporting him (and his family), he made sure that his wife was taken care of financially. This made K. very angry because he put his wife first, even if it meant her taking a taxi to and from work because the wife was using the car. K. then went and purchased a new vehicle which she placed at his disposal. This man would drive the van as he pleased. Still she could not see that he was using her after all this time. She told me he always wanted money or something else, and she freely gave him whatever he wanted. His sexual wishes were always met too, no matter how lewd she might have thought his demands were. When she told me the things she allowed him to do to her, and I expressed my disbelief, she got cold with me and told me that when you love a man you would do anything for him. K. could do all of these things because she handles money; she is by no means hand to mouth. But I think she only behaves in this way because she is getting on in age and she feels with her education, job and status that she should be married. Last year her mother died, and as a result of the family gathering she found out her married man's wife was her cousin. Still that meant nothing to her as she was adamant that she wanted this man as she had invested heavily in him. His two children of school age did not matter to her either although they were related to her. Well as old Bajans say, 'the longest day has an end'. The man came to the realisation that she was solely after marriage and with her constant pressuring to break up with his wife and divorce her, he broke off his involvement. Furthermore, he banned K. from calling him again. From all reports, I was made to understand that this man's wife is very caring and would give her last to him, family or even strangers. I was also told she is a practising Christian. All of this I told K. to help bring her to her senses and show her how wrong she was to be living that life, especially since the girl was her cousin. Eventually she gave up pursuing him, but now she has another married man. Again, I told her that living with a married man was wrong as he made vows before God and they did not include her. I also reminded her that she should check the scripture which tells us that what God has put together let no man separate. This includes her because we women think that it does not pertain to us. I told you this story because I want married women to know that they are a lot of other women out there who are vultures and would steal their husbands if the men, are so inclined. I am talking about this too because I want all women out there to realise that it is folly going after married men, as they only have a good time with you, then they go back to their wives and children. I hope this year women wise up and start respecting themselves, and stop trying to break up other women's families. © 1997-2008. Nation Publishing Company Limited.