Liz TaylorSpecial to The Seattle Times
April 28, 2008
A few weeks ago, I ran a question from a man in his 50s, wondering who would want his family photos when he and his wife die, since they have no children.
They held precious memories, and he couldn't bear to think of them moldering in a landfill. I received several thoughtful responses, with ideas I hadn't thought of. On the other hand, according to a reader in Minnesota, having lots of kids is no guarantee anyone will want your photos, either.
Q: Both my parents died in the past few years. Their affairs were in order, and they left a minimal amount of stuff behind. Even so, it was incredibly difficult to cart their last material connections off to the Goodwill and the dump. The last things we're still dealing with are the photos.
I realize that when my turn comes, I won't be the one doing the tossing, but I also don't want to leave that job to someone else if I can possibly help it. So here are my thoughts on the photos:
• Scan them to disk. You'll still have them next year if you want to see them, but no one will feel bad tossing out a disk after you're gone. Plus, they don't take up much space.
• Contact any cousins or distant relatives if you have photos from shared earlier generations. While you might not have kids who'll want them, they might.
• Contact your state historical or genealogical society if you think any of them might be of interest.
• Sell them on eBay. I just heard of a greeting-card company that buys old photos and uses them in their cards.
• Get rid of the rest (preferably in some environmentally friendly way) and you'll feel better, plus the person who cleans up after you will be very grateful.
Q: My wife and I are 72 and have five children and 16 grandchildren. None of them wants the pictures either. We probably have 10 shelf feet of albums with no future.
One son said he would like to have them if I would catalog them and index them on CDs for him. Now you know that is not going to happen!
My brother started doing that with our parents' pix years ago and never completed the task, and probably never will. Such is life.
Q: My husband and I are new to Seattle, having recently moved here from the East Coast. He's a retired university professor and still-active carpenter, and I'm a retired teacher and addiction therapist. We were fortunate to find a house on one level, with only two outside steps, and we've remodeled to it make it even more accessible as we get older.
We are doing well and love Seattle, but we'd like to find other transplanted grandparents. I put an ad on Craigslist, but only one person answered. She and her husband have been a pleasure to know.
Do you or your readers have any other ideas? It's fun, once in a while, to talk with someone who's thinking about the same sorts of things we are — like what it feels like to leave a beloved family home, a network of friends, familiarity with where to go for what. Not to mention living close to grown children who, like most of us, manage to make their own messes sometimes, despite their excellent upbringing. Or cooking for 7-year-olds again and changing diapers for a little person who strews things all over the house.
And all the other good stuff that makes our move worthwhile. It would be nice to reach out somehow if there is a way.
A: Please don't turn me into a matching service, but do any readers know of a system for finding older newcomers to our area?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Most of us age accidentally, without planning or forethought. Aging Deliberately tells us how to age on purpose. You can reach Liz Taylor at lizt@agingdeliberately.com. Her Web site is www.AgingDeliberately.com.
Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company
