By Tommy Kapai
Like most Maori families and whanau growing up in Tauranga it was our mother who kept the home fires burning while Dad did the dad thing and kept the fridge full of kai and his mates full of good cheer.
And like a lot of Maori families our mother, who still grows her own kai, has lived a lot longer than our dad and on Saturday night a special celebration was held to honour our kuia and kaumatua who have let the clock of life tick on strongly past 80 years of age.
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Paddlers aboard three Maori waka canoes prepare to salute the King and dignatories on the Waikato River during celebrations for the first anniversary of the coronation of Maori King Tuheitia at Turangawaewae Marae in Ngaruawahia New Zealand, Tuesday, August 21, 2007. Credit:NZPA / Stephen Barker.
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The evening was put on to coincide with the 50th anniversary of what is known as Poukai, where local marae who share an allegiance to the Kingitanga movement host the reigning Maori sovereign, in this case King Tuheitia.
And to make it even more special it was hosted at Huria Marae in a setting fit for a king, with a magnificently erected marquee to house a royal gala and a banquet that could not have been bettered by any party-hire team in town.
Picture it if you can. Twenty-two of Tauranga Moana's regal princes and royal princesses called out one by one like an honours list at a university campus. And as their list of life's achievements were read out by the two comperes, each octogenarian, and some even older, were chaperoned by a family member to be individually presented before the King.
Two of these 22 were my mum (83) and her younger sister (80) who come from a fine crop of nine kids; seven are enjoying the rich rewards of old age.
A wise and respected local Maori once wrote "Kuia and kaumatua (elderly woman and men), no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty. They merely move it from their faces into their hearts".
And there was a divine display of aged beauty that warmed the cockles of our hearts as each of our parents proudly promenaded themselves in front of whanau and friends. As if to say to all of us sitting there stunned in mutual admiration, "Never ever regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many".
Some walked the aisle of appreciation up to meet King Tuheitia with guarded shyness and some walked up with their heads held high. While others like my good mate Monty _ the pen of Pukena, waltzed up with an 80-something-year-old attitude that said,
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter".
There were more flash frocks than Dancing With The Stars and some of those 80-plus fillies had more kick left in their waewae than a Waikato thoroughbred, as they danced to the big band music of Tauranga's finest Maori musicians.
There was so much to be learned from this gathering of great minds. The years teach much what the days never know and the collective wisdom assembled on Huria Marae on Saturday night was priceless, as were the stories being told.
Sure age has swallowed their youth, but how old would any of us be if we didn't know how old we were?
And sure there was the odd exaggeration and the odd tito (fib) told about the good old days _ but for my two bobs worth when has the truth ever got in the way of a good korero (yarn)?
But nowhere was there talk of treaty settlements or mountain ownership. Not once did I hear of a forest being flogged or a seabed being swallowed up.
There was no raruraru (upsets) or idle whawhe (gossip), nor were there reflections of regret about roads not walked down in life.
As one of the older recipients of this memorable night mentioned "A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams".
And dreams were what the whanau of Ngaitamarawaho made come true, for many of our mothers and fathers on Saturday night.
From the time we walked in, to the tune of Spanish Harlem, until our farewell to the national anthem of Tauranga Moana, and all the magic moments in between it was manaaki (hosting) at its absolute best.
From all of us to all of you who treated our parents like royalty amongst royalty, we say kia ora.
By Tommy Kapai
tommy@indigenius.org
© APN News & Media Ltd 2007
