NEPAL: Old Vs. New Generation

Editorial By Rajib Raj Acharya KATHMANDU, Nepal (The Rising Nepal), March 15, 2008: Is self-centredness a characteristic of the youth only? The answer to this question is of paramount importance today. With the increase in the human lifespan due to medical and scientific breakthroughs, we have many a nonagenarian having a relapse of second childhood as Shakespeare's Othello prophesied in his famous "Seven Ages of Man�. Is there any solution? Can things be worked out so that there is, if not happiness, at least less frustration? There is no denying that older people need to be looked after. Nepalese are well known for honouring their family commitments. Abandoning or putting old people in old-age homes are very rare. The question here is: "Are we turning what should have been a labour of love into a labour of duty?� There lies the crux of the matter. It is not unknown to witness the love of the son and his wife turn to something akin to hatred. Many of them perform the act of looking after their elders as a duty that has to be endured. We do have the other side of the coin, too. We see too many grandmothers act as babysitters. Though in most cases this is, indeed, a labour of love, in a few cases, their physical ability isn't taken into consideration. The grandparents, in such cases, are endured solely on the basis of their usefulness. It is tantamount to making them pay for their very existence. The life span of a person is not preordained. No one can die conveniently. We should learn to be considerate. "So live in a way that, when you die, even the undertaker is sorry,� is a famous quotation. Let us so live that at least our offspring will be sorry when we die and do not think of doing a little jig! Where are we going wrong? Unrealistic expectations from our near and dear ones are the major cause for this situation. As Mother Teresa put it, "Truly loving another person means letting go of all expectation.� The age-old tradition of sons looking after parents in their old age is deeply embedded in our psyche. As one grows older, we become deeply entrenched in our sense of right and wrong, and we neglect to consider the separate lives of our children beyond our needs and our feelings. Why is it difficult for senior citizens to realise that there can only be one head of the family? At some point or the other, he has to relinquish his position and delegate his authority to his son or sons. When our children are young, we, as parents, are keen to instil independence into them, but we expect them to relinquish it as soon as they are grown up or, worse still, married! Parents can take up the position of the 'elder statesman� where they observe all that goes on around them and offer advice and suggestions when asked or when, in their wisdom, they can see things getting messed up. © Copyright 2008. Gorkhapatra Sansthan