The 80 members of Abu Miya’s joint family in their Nagpur home. The original Abu Miya was a celebrated doctor to the 18th century Bhosale kings. HT PhotoNagpur household has 80 members and counting, reports Sarita Kaushik
NAGPUR, Maharashtra (The Hindustan Times), March 18, 2008:
It is difficult to get a family photo in this household. The joint family from Nagpur, which shares one kitchen, is all of 80 people and counting.
Welcome to Abu Miya and family. Abu Miya, who was the hakim or doctor to the celebrated Bhosale kings, died several decades ago, but the seniormost member of the family has carried on with the name and made Abu Miya a sort of title.
His house in Bengali Panja grows with members, filling out rooms. Neighbours keep wondering how five generations, which started with the seniormost Abu Miya and his two sons, managed to work the economics and dynamics of such a huge joint family.
The unit works on two basic principles – that of finance and marriage.
“The basis of our household is that it is “behissab” (unaccounted). We have never kept any record of any contributions by anyone,” said the eldest in the fourth generation of cousins, Afsar Khan. “Just yesterday, an onion vendor was passing by. I bought a huge sack. Someone has obviously paid the servants when they asked. But I don’t know. We know just one thing: the moment we keep records of money the family will break.”
Everyone does his or her own thing apart from the old family businesses like agriculture and medicine.
Family members' occupations range from tending to horses for marriages to politics to running a canteen. Each pays when he or she can.
The second binding factor is quite unusual. "We try to settle marriages within ourselves, said Khan. His younger cousin Nadeem Khan said it saves the trouble of checking out on the bride or the groom. There is no need to check out the family culture.
"Half of us are married within the family, mostly to our cousins. Also, we try to solemnise at least two marriages within the family at the same time. Otherwise think of the number of invitations needed," he said.
The grand old man of the family - currently Afsar's octogenarian father Amanullah Khan - decides on matters related to property or marriage. But in everything else, members have the freedom. For instance, one could choose to educate the children from any school.
The open kitchen is a wonder. Women huddle there from morning. Four of them make just chapattis. After all, the family consumers 8 kgs of just wheat flour every day. They require more than two gas cylinders in 10 days. Women cut and chop vegetables through the day and men and children come in and eat when they wish. The women, however, eat at around midnight, after the whole family has been fed, said Afsar.Ask them about fights and differences and Nadeem smiles. "When there are so many vessels, they are bound to clash and make noise," he said.
He asks the photographer to wait because some others were yet to join the group for the giant family photo.
The family had long learnt to manage such little, day-to-day harmonies.
sarita.kaushik@hindustantimes.com
The Hindustan Times, Mumbai edition, March 19, 2008.Page 07
Copyright: HT Media Ltd.
