NEPAL: Advantage of Middle Age - Perspective From Kathmandu

Editorial by Rajib Raj Acharya Advantage Of Middle Age KATHMANDU, Nepal (The Rising Nepal), February 23, 2008: By now, you must have read any number of write-ups on the miseries of middle age - the unhappiness of fading youth, the empty nest syndrome, the hormonal changes�.Well, my piece is going to be about the pleasure that accompany mid-life. Yes, there are many nice things that go with middle age, and it is important to know them, because middle age is inevitable, and cannot be wished away. For starters, there is a sense of freedom you get - when you no longer have to plan your evenings around your kids' homework! Just imagine not having to say, "Uh, no�I can't watch that movie/serial/go shopping/whatever, because I have to see to Chunnu/Munnu's homework�. No need to look scandalised at the suggestion of an evening out, and hiss in shocked tones, "I could not possibly, Chunnu/Munnu has a unit test tomorrow!� One often overlooked the valuable add-on that comes with middle age - the time and peace you get to talk to your spouse. No more of those derailed "sessions� which would end up in places bewilderingly distant from where they started out. Every conversation had an absurd way of ending up in hot argument, about money or kids, but once your responsibilities are generally out of the way, you can actually see the trees for the woods. Also, with the stress of time and privacy out of the way, many couples have actually found a more enhanced marital life. This puts paid to the argument and fear that advancing age whittles down a couple's sexual life. Often, that happens only when people decide that they are "too old�. Which brings to the fore an important factor about middle age. Many people, especially in our country, have grown up with some stereotypes regarding what they call "ageing.� First, they are too quick to attach labels like "old age� and buddhapa to anyone above 40-45. That's a myth. Like many other things in life, it is our approach to an issue or a concept that determines our perception and, eventually, our experience. If we are all set to look at ourselves as old fuddy-duddies, well, so it will be. Which is not to remotely suggest, that we dye our hair red and dance madly in the streets, to show how young at heart we are! (do that, if you like, but not to prove a point.) Wearing the advancing years with grace and dignity does not necessarily entail wearing white and singing bhajans, unless you want to. If you feel like leading a colourful, vigorous life with or without the bhajans, go right ahead, and don't let anybody's conception of middle age or even old age, spoil your party. But don't feel compelled to lead a deliberately dull life, because you are afraid of "what will people say?� People will find something to say anyway, rest assured. It's your life, and you should not be deciding when and where you need the speed breakers. In fact, it might quite be that you suppress yourself early on, and decide later that it wasn't such a good idea, after all. And then think where you will be with all those years gone away, never to return? As poet John Keats has rightly said that "autumn� is the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness.� You, too, could look at the years after youth - as the fruition of all you have done so far, the ripening of past experience into rich gold. Gorkhapatra Sansthan - Dharmapath, Kathmandu, Nepal © Copyright 2008. Gorkhapatra Sansthan.