SHARING THE JOY: With the disintegration of the joint family system, many kids are missing the little joys of life. Photo: C.V. SubrahmanyamOctober 1 is International Day of Older Persons, it’s time to show our gratitude to senior citizens. A little love is all they seek, writes B. Madhu Gopal
CHENNAI (The Hindu), September 29, 2007:
A young man deserted his aged mother on a road at Gopalapatnam a few years ago. Her children were well settled in India and abroad. She was from an affluent family and spoke fluent English. “One of my sons left me here and I don’t even kn ow this place,” she told the reporter of a vernacular daily.
After a while she said: “Why do you waste your time on me? You may have to bring your kids from school,” in a bid to send him away.
A pensioner was admitted to an old age home by his sons. When the man turned sick, a good Samaritan of the old age home went to the house of one of his son and informed him of his father’s sickness. “Why did you come here? In what way am I concerned”? The son’s remark stupefied him and he asked: “Whom else should I tell”?
“You talk to the person who had signed on the application when my dad was admitted to your home.”
The home authorities approached the other son and he was ‘kind’ enough to take back his sick father. A few days later, the old age home authorities received a call that an old man was lying dead on the street. The staff of the home later realised that the second son of the pensioner had dumped his father’s body on the road.
A girl, who grew up in an orphanage, secured a job and seemed to have forgotten her past soon after her wedding. The young woman is now pestering her husband to drive out his mother or enroll her in an old age home.
These incidents are a reflection of the disturbing trends in society. It’s not just poverty that makes young men and women to neglect their parents, even middle-class and affluent families are increasingly finding it a burden to look after their aged parents. These young persons should remember that one day or the other they too have to pass through that stage.
There are some who think that money is everything in life. A sizable number of techies, going abroad in search of greener pastures, are leaving their aged parents in old age homes. “My son is bearing the cost of my stay at the home and also sends me money whenever I need it,” the inmate of an old age home said not willing to complain against her son and daughter-in-law. But the grief of not staying with her son and grandchildren was evident in her eyes. No amount of money can buy the love and affection of our near and dear ones.
According to the United Nations Organisation (UNO) statistics, one out of every 10 persons is now 60 years or older. By 2050, one out of five persons and by 2150, one out of three persons is estimated to be over 60 years of age.
Children are more attached to their grandparents than their own parents. Grandparents also love spending time with their children and also have the time at their disposal to take care of them. Young persons should understand that they are depriving the kids of a precious bond by creating walls between their children and grandparents.
“In Japan most young couples understand that they have to take care of their aged parents. They, however, blame it on lack of time and think that enrolling them in old age homes is a better option,” said Ryo Takahashi, Creative Director of the Nippon Care-Fit Service Association (NCSA), who came to the city recently. He underlined the need for senior citizens to understand their worth and have a positive outlook towards life.
A German company is utilising the rich experience of retired persons from different fields to provide professional training to entrepreneurs.
“Children are more interested about their share in property rather than the need to care for their aged parents,” says Prema Samajam secretary M. Satyaraju. The organisation runs a Home for the Aged which has provision to accommodate 40 persons.He expressed serious concern at the disturbing trend and disgust at the growing number of old people begging on the streets. He advocates introduction of the Beggar Act and rehabilitation of such persons in Beggar Homes.
Things have come to such a pass that children staying abroad are calling up Vyasa Murthy, a professional who performs the last rites of individuals, and asking him to perform last rites of their parents who were lodged in old age homes. They were willing shell out huge sums of money but not interested in attending the last rites.
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