USA: You’re as old as you feel

“Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men”: Kin Hubbard

ENID, OKLAHOMA (The Enid News & Eagle), June 9, 2005:

Age, they say, is all in the mind. Unfortunately it’s also in the knees, back, hips, waistline, cholesterol and blood pressure.

Forty is said to be the new 30, so does that make 50 the new 20? Everyone is aging, but many people are acting younger than their parents did at the same age.

People are focusing not so much on how many years they’ve lived but on how many more years they have yet to live and what they can do with the time that remains.

In 2000, according to a study by Austrian Academy of Sciences, the average American was 35.3 years old and could plan for 43.5 more years of life. By 2050, the researchers estimate, the average age will increase to 41.7 with 45.8 more years of life.

Even today, the average American lives to be 77.6 years old. So what will we do with all that extra time? Forbes Magazine has some suggestions, with its article “10 Things You’re Not Too Old To Do.”

No. 1 on the list is have a child. If that’s the case, the waiting rooms in pediatricians offices will begin stocking copies of AARP Magazine as well as publications such as Parenting.

You’re also not too old to get skinny, although most of us tend to add, rather than subtract, pounds as we age.

No. 3 on the Forbes list is to get a degree, either going back to school or by taking classes online. You also aren’t too old to take up a new spare time passion, like learning to fly or becoming a magician. Or you could save time by becoming a flying magician.

You also could learn to play a musical instrument, learn another language, take a year or so off from your job or switch careers. I want to take a year off to learn the classical kazoo, then teach Wangganguru as a second language.

Finally, Forbes rounds out its list with mending a fence or burning a bridge and expanding your culinary horizons. The magazine advises healing a broken relationship, or nuking one that isn’t salvageable.

In the realm of expanding your culinary horizons, they advise sampling haggis, the traditional Scottish dish made of liver, onions, oatmeal, suet and spices, all boiled and served in a sheep’s stomach. I’ve tried it. It’s not bad, as long as you eat and don’t think.

Forbes’ list is incomplete. For instance, you’re also never too old to, well, make whoopie.

AARP reports 51 percent of seniors responding to the poll say they are satisfied with their sex life.

You’re never too old to play games. Try “Brink,” a board game developed in Denver for Baby Boomers on the brink of old age. It’s kind of like Trivial Pursuit, with no trivia. Players must circle the board by correctly answering questions on age-related topics. Among the questions are: True or false, more than half of all people who have ever lived over the age of 65 are still alive today. The answer is true.

Another question reads, women live an average of five years longer than men because A. women have better genes, B. men engage in riskier behavior, C. men are more often victims of crime. The answer is B, but I answered D. men wear themselves out trying to please women.

You’re never too old to be a jock, at least until you hit 75. In a study of nearly 2,600 athletes in the 2001 Senior Olympics, the speed of mile runners fell about 2 percent each year from ages 50 to 75, then from 75 to 85 the speeds dropped about 7 percent a year.

You’re never too old to be a kid. Climb a tree, lie on your back in the grass finding animal shapes in the clouds, fly a kite or put on your bathing suit and play in the sprinkler (preferably in the back yard).

We may all be getting older, but we don’t have to act like it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go prove that I’m not too old to run a mile. I’ll be back in an hour. Better make that two.

Jeff Mullin Senior Writer The Enid News & Eagle.

© 2005 The Enid News & Eagle.