USA: Attitude can help people to age well

LOUISVILLE (Herald-Dispatch), May 9, 2005:

As we age, short-term memory abandons us first, while long-term memory sticks around, reports Bryant Stamford - Health Columnist.

The loss of memory is frustrating. But watching it occur in a loved one may be even tougher.

I’ve watched my mother’s short-term memory wane and nearly disappear over the past three years. But for 87 years, her memory was rock solid, and, according to the experts, her avid interest in crossword puzzles, reading and all aspects of life in general may have helped delay the loss as long as possible.

When my mother first started losing her memory, it frustrated her.

As things progressed, she began to accept that her memory was fading, but we still had to be careful how we responded to her. Recently, I was doing some research on this topic and realized that, accidentally, we were doing some things right in our approach.

One of the biggest things was not putting her on the spot and asking her about recent events. What she thought of a movie she had just watched, for example, as this would force her to try to recall details and would serve as further evidence of her declining memory.

Another thing we did was take advantage of times when her memory was suddenly and surprisingly sharp, by staying with whatever topic was being discussed, and milking it for all it was worth and considering it a blessing.

Thankfully, when communicating with my mother in the present moment -- the here and now -- she is still alert and engaging.

When I telephone her, I always start by teasing her about something as a gauge of how well she is doing. Last time we talked I asked her if she was still working construction, hauling bricks and mortar. She said no, she quit last week because the boss made a pass at her. We laughed.

This told me everything I needed to know. Such moments are magical.

My mother has taught me that although over the years some aspects of life may decline substantially, life can continue to be a wonderful adventure. It’s all about attitude.

Notwithstanding her loss of memory, needing assistance to rise and the use of a walker to move about, aches and pains, and a vast array of assaults that living 90 years on this Earth can bring, she always reports that she’s doing fine, and she means it.

Why? Because she chooses to see it that way.

Bryant Stamford is an exercise physiologist and director of the

Health Promotion and Wellness Center at the University of Louisville. (Herald-Dispatch.com)